I sit outside today on this last hour of vacation and think. I have had lots of time for reflection, writing and rejuvenation. It is amazing what you will discover if you are not afraid to go inside.
I can see I live my life with many ‘shoulds’ and ‘if I coulds.’ this is not really living. Instead a change to just being. Come what may –pain, dental and stomach woes or too much emotion–I just want to live life. Not miss any moments. It is a lot easier said than done. Not trying would mean missing something and I do not want to risk that.
Turning to what is inside is important. So often, I turn to others for approval or to determine whether this or that was correct. I cannot put others on such a pedestal. They are not the arbiters of my being. I give too much away and leave myself behind, lost and forgotten. I cannot afford to do that anymore.
Now the task at hand is to fold these vacation discoveries into my daily life. Harried and crazed, I’ll lose sight of this quickly. I have a plan for today and questions for tomorrow. So it is, as is should be.