Mental Health · Self · Spirituality

Finding the Middle

It would be quite the understatement to say that I have been busy as of late. I am working my full-time job during the day and writing in the evenings for Many nights I fall asleep at my computer while writing. In addition, there are non-profit responsibilities, exercise, tennis, and working on my physical home, and the one that lies within my mind and heart. It is difficult to attend to it all. Yet, I find it worthy work. I sleep late on weekends to recover. I find a way to make it work. Yet, I wonder what life would be like if I removed something from my schedule. Would I be okay with it? Would I be okay with a simpler existence? Some say that is the way to a happier life. I remember my Thoreau “Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity.”

In all things, I want to reach my fullest potential: to be perfect. That is a great goal to have, but one that is simply not attainable, especially if you have quite a few balls to juggle. Inevitably, I will drop one of the balls and feel terrible for my lack of ability to keep the show on the road. There are places I can ease up. This is what Buddhists would call the “Middle Way,” (I think, do not quote me on that.) We may call it balance, or a balanced life. Could I, “Miss Perfect,” do this? I think I need to take a shot at it.

There are other places in my life I am practicing this balance. Perfectionists see solutions to problems quickly, and react even faster. Many of the problems are not within my, or our, sphere of control. I discover each day that there are ways I can let go of situations I want to change. There are many of them on which to practice. I just cannot resist pulling the trigger to “fix” something. With my finger on the trigger I must pause, sit back, and determine whether it is worth throwing myself into the fray. Time may need to pass, events may need to play out, other people may need to make mistakes in order to open up opportunities to learn. Ultimately, one fine day all will be resolved in some fashion. Right? It is tough to convince myself of this notion in the moment. If I keep myself well enough and try different tips and tricks along the way; I may just have a fighting shot.

I hope to apply this to my busy schedule, too. I think some of those things on my to-do list are not hard and fast. There is a Middle Way in the choices I make daily, weekly and monthly in how my time is spent. So the grocery shopping does not happen on Saturday, so what? It is going to happen. So I do not get a 90 minute workout in every day. 30 minutes may just have to be good enough. So I do not write 3 posts a week for the other blog, an expectation I have set for myself. These are not make or break decisions, but it feels that way in my mind. We have to give ourselves a break, take a pause, locate center, and our balance will follow.

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