DBT · Medical/Dental · Mental Health · Self

I’m Okay (Even though I’m not), You’re Okay (Even though You’re not)!

A few days ago someone complained about being in a bit of dazed haze.  Perhaps, the bad allergy season he/she hypothesized.   This is what I feel like all the time, with a dash of nausea, stomach pain, dizziness and other symptoms thrown in for good measure. I never know what will greet me when I wake up.   I’m never fully awake, I always have some sort of malaise.  So that lead me to ask the question, what does it feel like to have energy and feel, for lack of a better term, normal. Clearly, this person who admitted to being in a “haze” would not have commented if this state was in stark contrast to how he/she typically feels.  We all have are own baseline and, yes, we each inhabit our own “normal” homeostasis.  Still, I wonder what it is like to feel differently than I do every day.  To not have some part of your body or mind screwing with you each day. You know, to HAVE energy and not need to CREATE it with caffeine or a trip to the gym.

I’m not one for science fiction, but I think it would be interesting to embody someone’s internal and external experience.  Similar to how E.T. touched Eliot with his glowing finger to heal, I would like to touch someone and see what it is they feel physically, process thoughts (not what they are thinking, but HOW they are thinking) and respond to stimuli.  It would be the best way to understand what I am doing good, bad or indifferent. Unfortunately, it is an impossibility.  Not to mention creepy.  Just think: a tiny, 5′ girl with a glowing finger that tells all.

Magic Touch
Magic Touch






Bottom line my fantasy is just that, bullshit.  I know everyone walks the planet Earth with some sort of struggle.  I’m just kind of done with my bag of crap and want a different perspective.  My Mom (actually her friend) always said that if you threw your problems back into the pot you would want them back.  Just like when you buy that sweet gift for the Yankee Swap at Christmas, then go to the party and end up with a bunch of plastic headbands from Caldor(R) to take home with you (True story…still scarred.  Just kidding!).  In the end, you always want what you brought to the party back in your hands.  I wonder if it is the same with cranky body parts, emotions and thought processes.

No one wants these!
No one wants these!








I have been living this life for quite some time and I hope that doesn’t stop any time soon.  I would love to see if the grass in greener in someone else’s lawn even though I know there will be patches of crab grass and possibly slugs that come with it, too.  It just seems people can handle life and living well because they are well.  I suppose it could be denial, complacency, or psychopathy, but I do not think that is it.  They are doing something different.  My working hypothesis is A) others hide their fears, maladies and thought processes well and B) they walk around with a large dose of two critical ingredients perspective and acceptance.

“A” is probably a incorrect in most cases. (Cases = People).  “B” I know for sure is, and may be, the answer to the destruction of “A” and the solution to just about anything.  Here we go!

Perspective is a balanced view of all, if not most, things that exist or can be conjured.  Acceptance is being okay with how things are.  So let us reframe.  Shall we!

No Perspective: “I’m suffering and I can’t handle it and I am the only one feeling this horrible.  ARGHHHH!”

Perspective – “I don’t feel well and I am sure there are others suffering too.”    

No Acceptance: “I don’t feel well and I am going to feel bad and wallow in it all day.”

Acceptance – “I don’t feel well AND it’s okay.  I have felt this way in the past. It will go away.  It is part of who I am, allowing me to be more empathetic to those who are suffering.

Totally feels different, right?  Well, it may take some time for this girl to experience some transcendence.  Peace and contentment are worth working for. God knows, it’s better than going home with those cheap, plastic, headbands.



You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need

M. Jagger/K. Richards “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”

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