Concerts · Mental Health

Everything Changes

I went to see Aaron Lewis Thursday night, July 28, 2011.  It is the 6th time I have had the privilege to go see him perform an acoustic set.  I will never forget each and every time I am blessed enough to be in his presence and listen to him sing.  The first time I saw him was in 2007.  I never thought I would ever go to a concert in my life and yet there I was, at a concert, listening to music I had only heard through the speakers of my car and or the headphones of my CD player while sitting in my dorm.  I went again in 2008 and sat in the intimate Caberet room at Mohegan Sun Casino.  I would go on to see him 2 more times there in the arena.  That first night in the Mohegan sun cabaret room was very memorable.  He sang “Fade” and looked directly at me while tears streamed down my face just feet away.   He sang the song that got me through so many rough times.  It was an indescribable experience.

Every concert since that one has had a song.  The memorable song from this specific show was the “Everything Changes.”  Another one that has meant a great deal to me and my relationship with others, especially my boyfriend.  This time,  though, it was different, it was about me.; I needed to do the changing.  (Well, I am actually always the one that needs to do the changing.)  He was singing to me once again.  I lost it as soon as he started.  I cried and cried as the rotating stage, revolved away from me.  Then the stage paused and came rotating back in my direction.  A sign?   I cried, bent over and nearly took a knee in the aisle, as if in church, as I formed the sign of the cross quickly, hoping no one saw me.    I thought of Dave, whom I was with, I thought of Mom, Dad, Mark, my cousins and extended family, my friends and the friends I have yet to make.  I thought of the chapel at Holy Cross for some reason.  It was only in that place and in this moment that I had felt very close to God.  I thought my life is worth living and the only person I need to live for is me.  I can’t give in to my demons.  There will be no more people pleasing and I will lower the expectations that I have for myself because they are just resentments paid in advance.  I have dreams to fulfill.  There are opportunities to love, learn, and explore that I have not experienced yet.  I have to ask for help and do things that are uncomfortable.  It will all be worth it.  Everything changes if I keep listening to him (Aaron Lewis) and Him  (God).

Here is the song.  

2 thoughts on “Everything Changes

  1. Those are some powerful words. They made me thin of my own situation. Everything changes but we need to change ourselves!

    1. Thanks for your comments. It is hard to change your ways. I had a tough time tonight, but I got through it. You have to take the rockier path sometimes. It makes you stronger.

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